Resident Evil 2: PARODY
by Reiko N Josh
Summary: Sequal to RE 1: PARODY. After Chris and his fellow idiots escape the mansion they leave town and NOW Leon Scott Kennedy, police idiot rookie extroardinair and his side kick Claire Redfield must escape a carnivore monster man infected city of Raccoon City!
1. Chapter 1 Night of the Emo

Okay so im updating this story right now, im planning alot, currantly doing a run through on RE2 for ps3, planning to continue a run through of RE5 on xbox for some more inspiration.. I had the next chapter for 5 with chris and sheva going against the chainsaw guy all typed up...got to the part with the motorcycles and the downed helicopter..and then my stupid computer forcibly restarted for updates.. i was so mad..never even got to save.. but i hope i get to complete this one within a week or a month..cause ima try to hit the RE2 hard and type as i play..then i hope to finish 5.. RE Zero parody is on hold cuz i lost my disc 1.. i wanna do a code veronica but i want someone to do a play through with me.. im thinking about ORC and later doing 6 and even revelations..i will for sure want to do the new revelations 2 and when the remastered resident evil comes out...i MIGHT see about a recap on my RE 1 parody but...anything above i mentioned should come first..Ideas are always apreciated.

Disclaimer: Resident Evil is owned by Capcom and big business like people…The following is nothing more then a PARODY in order to make fun of every little detail that makes no sense at all in my own perspective… Keep in mind that this story is a non profit parody loaded with ADHD and ODD….Also Popcorn can beat up candy corn any day…

Intro:

"1998...I'll never forget it…" Leon began

Author: "Do you even remember it yet..?"

"…Uh….Shut up…" Leon said evasively before continuing "A while back some weird murder cases were reported and Alpha team was sent in to investigate after Bravo team was stupid enough to go missing…And whats even better was they went at night..Cause that was TOTALLY the best time to look for missing people….Uh..Anyway… They came back and started ranting about Zombies and Umbrella corporation doing naughty things with a virus!…We were fools not to believe them….But then again… Umbrella corporation has spent years supplying us with all our state of the art water proof products and anti sickness medicines! Ha! What could possibly go wrong!" Exclaimed Leon happily

Author: "….No comment…"

Chapter 1: Race to The Police Station (A.K.A. Cold Coffee)

XXXX Raccoon City Outskirts, LEON XXXX

Leon drove up to Raccoon City in his crappy Jeep, it was his first day on the job as a police officer for the RPD. (Retarded Police Drunkies) As Leon drove through town the radio was playing an 80's Motley Crue song known as "Girls Girls Girls" to which he was singing along to. As he drove he noticed an innocent bloody not dangerous at all civilian in the middle of the road sleeping. Leon stepped out of his Jeep in hopes of giving his first ticket.

Leon walked up to the bloody and totally not dead at all sleeping man "Sir… I'm going to have to kindly ask you to wake up…" he said as he kneeled beside the not dead sleeping man. The man simply layed there motionlessly, Leon noticed his wounds were fresh and it looked like he was bitten to death. As if on cue a man staggered up from behind causing Leon to stand up, the rotting flesh of the scarey bleeding man made Leon realize something..They weren't not dead at all people…This man was an evil carnivore monster man!

Leon drew his gun and opened fire several times, missing the first couple shots before putting one right bellow its nose. "Yeah!" called out Leon. Suddenly Leons leg was grabbed, he looked down only to notice that the not dead at all sleeping man had become a carnivore monster man as well! Leon did what any civilized human being would do at a time like this….Unload a whole clip into the mofo! "RAAAWR!" roared Leon once the carnivore man was dead. He looked around quickly becoming aware that Carnivore monster men were everywhere! They staggered towards him, moaning with the soul of a thousand manifestations.

"Die you emo Bastards!" he screamed as he unloaded the rest of his ammo into them killing all of them that were in the street. It was then that Leon ran into an Alley in a clearly brilliant attempt to escape rather then drive away in his Jeep.

XXXX Claire Redfield….5 minutes ago XXXX

Claire pulled upto Raccoon City on her Harley, parking at a Diner as she texted her big brother Chris "I am in Raccoon City…I know you took my Playstation when you moved out! Your so dead when I find you!" she finished her messege and hit send before walking into the Diner "Hello?" she called out "Is anyone there?"

Behind the counter a carnivore man was hunched over eating the left overs of some poor man who was CLEARLY dead now.

Claire walked upto the counter and noticed the man "Oh, Hello…" she said as the carnivore man kept munching on his delicious victem. "….What are you eating?" she asked curiously. Slowly the Carnivore man turned around looking at her with what could only be 3 hours of monster make up artists perfection. Claire screamed as she stumbled back pressing her back to the window before realizing that even more of them were outside hitting the window.

Claire stepped back "What do I do!" she screamed

Author: "Quickly! Push heavy objects in front of the door!"

Claire shook her head "This isn't Resident Evil 3 damnit! I'm going to run like hell out of this conveniently placed back door!" she exclaimed before rushing out the back door into the Alley where she bumped into someone. The someone turned out to be a man who turned out to have a gun who also turned out to aim at her and yell "DON'T MOVE!"

Claire screamed as he fired, killing the carnivore monster man that was behind her. The man took her hand "Come on! We have to run away as fast as we can!" he shouted as they ran back out of the alley that he had just escaped into, running past several perfectly good vehicles and finally getting into a police car. "Buckle your seat belt!" he exclaimed before flooring it.

"Why do you get to drive?" exclaimed Claire "Well DUH lady! Because you're a woman which means you'll crash.." he said laughing. "By the way I think you should look in that glove compartment" he said.

Claire looked in the glove box. Claire received a Handgun! Now she can shoot people whenever she feels threatened!

Leon looked at Claire "So Claire…." he said quizzically before Claire looked at him "How do you know my name?" she cried out. Leon smiled "I read it in the last paragraph" he stated simply.

Claire looked at him like he grew a second head "Yeah..Well…Don't do that okay?…Its un ethical.." she explained. Leon speeded around a corner before a scimai driven by a crazy carnivore drunk man came around a corner behind them.

Leon yawned "It would really suck if something completely random happened right now.." he stated. As if on cue a carnivore stalker man jumped from the back seat trying to grab them. "NOO!" yelled Leon dramatically as he jerked the wheel hard to the left and crashed into a light pole, the carnivore man sent crashing through the wind shield.

"Haha! Did you see that?" asked Leon "It was all like BOOOSSSHH!" he said imitating the crash. Claire looked in the mirror to fix her hair as she seen the scimai "Leon look out!" she screamed. Leon gasped "You know my name?" he asked before getting out of the car and diving as the scimai crashed, causing a huge stood up "Alright Claire! Time to bunker down! Nothing but hard work and perseverance from here on out!" he declared as a swarm of carnivore men shuffled towards them. "Hm…That and drugs…LOTS of drugs!" he said holding up a herb.

Leon and Claire after fighting their way through the horde of carnivore men finally found themselves at "Akura's Gun Shop" Leon looked at the sign for the longest moment "Hey! If you read it backwards it says Sakura Gun Shop! A clear trait of Capcoms fighting games!" he huffed before entering.

The shop owner stood behind the counter holding a shotgun. "Hey Baby…Welcome to my Shop.." he greeted. Claire smiled a little "Uh…Thanks.." she said

The shop owner frowned "I wasn't talking to YOU…I was reffering to your sexy blonde friend.." he said winking at Leon who in turn widened his eyes.

"Have a look around my shop baby…" he said as he walked over, Claire was already gathering ammo when the Shop owner blew a kiss to Leon. Suddenly the window broke and carnivore men started crawling through, pinning the shop owner down before Leon began shooting, after only 2 shots he ran over to Claire "Theres nothing more we can do for him! He was eaten to death!" he yelled

Claire blinked "That looks like a bullet wound to me!" she pointed out before being pulled out the door. Leon reloaded his pistol. "Alright….Lets go.." he said as they made their way down the stairs, climbing over dumpsters and shooting carnivore people.

"RUNNN!" screamed Leon as they rushed through main street. "I AM!" screamed Claire as an angry carnivore mob shuffled after them. Leon and Claire quickly ran into a crashed City bus. 2 zombies crawled towards them from the other end as the angry carnivore mob banged on the doors to the bus. "Why did we think this was such a good idea?" asked Claire

Leon laughed "It was my Idea!" he proclaimed. Claire nodded in agreement "Yes…That explains everything.." she stated before they unloaded the rest of their clips into the 2 carnivore men blocking their paths.

Quick as wind they rushed out of the bus and over to the Police Station.

Leon kicked the door in as he looked in amazement at the stark beauty of the mansion like features of the police department.

Claire smiled "Well thank god…Now we can all rest for another day.."

Leon looked at her "Why do you say that?" he asked

Claire Giggled "The Chapter is over silly!"

Leon nodded "Ahhh… I see now.." he said quietly.

CHAPTER 1 END


	2. Chapter 2 Just Call Me Rookie!

Resident Evil 2: PARODY

Author note: HELLOOO people, I'm back with a new update, its been a long time but i'm gonna take a crack at it, hopefully we can finish 2 and 0 as quickly and efficiently as possible, the both of us have taken very busy lately, but I now have some spare time.. Also been playing the ever living hell out of Operation Raccoon city and RE: 6 on xbox live with friends :P I know I might regret this but my new gamer tag is "Killeh Bunny" lol, if I do have a problem with that I can just change it ;3 I gots micro points out the wazoo XD Read and Review

Chapter 2: Just call me Rookie!

Leon and Clair walked into the RPD station, the door slamming behind them. Looking around Leon called out "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as the echo continued, Clair quickly covering his mouth "Are you stupid?!" she asked angrily, giving a goofy grin Leon replied "No..I'm special"

Clair blinked for a moment before shaking her head and walking ahead, her eyes focused on a computer and then a Typewriter. "Leon, look...I think we can record our progress on this" she said before Leon slapped in an ink ribbon and began typing away "Leon 01 Big ass hallway... Some crazy shit happened last night.. I only briefly remember her name.." he began typing before Clair smacked him upside the head "Nobody cares about your erotic stories!" she exclaimed before walking over to the computer and typing away at it. Leon pouted and walked around, he found a locked door, then he found another locked door... Claire walked over to another door and opened it "Leon over here!" she called out and in a flash Leon was there and they entered.

Once inside it became clear that cleaning was on the bottom of the large list of things to do..  
>"Good lord!" cried out Claire in shock to the torn up room, Leon laughed and waved his hand "Looks like my moms house after thanks giving" he said and walked into the back room<p>

they found a wounded police officer and kneeled beside him "Hey..Are you okay?" asked Leon, the cop coughed as he looked up at him "You must be the new Rookie..." he said pausing for a moment "Your too late for the welcome party.." he added, Claire looked back to the trashed room "No shit.." she commented "Are there any survivors?" asked Claire before Leon chided in "HA! Survivors!? Your funny Claire.. This is Resident FUCKING Evil...Get with the program" he said slapping her on the back.

The police officer held out a card key shakily "Here...You can use this to access the other rooms... I'm gonna lay here and have a couple more drinks before I try to kill you..i mean..Die.." he coughed. Leon took the card Key and nodded "I will avenge you.." he said and rushed out of the room.

Claire followed as she looked at Leon "what do we do now?" she asks as she punched in the card key into the computer.

Leon looked at her "Maybe we should split up.." he began. Claire nodded "Right, we could cover more ground..Good idea Leon.." she said before rushing off through the nearest locked door.  
>Leon stood there for a moment in confusion "Cover more ground...? I just didn't want to hear you nag me anylonger.." he mumbled.<p>

XXXX Claire XXXX

Claire entered the next room, there was a large Item Box. A zombie was sifting through the item box "Oh where has that blasted dog gone to now.." said the british zombie Claire aimed her gun at him "DIE ZOMBIE!" she exclaimed and fired at him till he was dead. Looking around she found a paper.

"Attention RPD staff.

In regards to Chief Irons all munitions have been relocated from the armory and scattered effectively EVERYWHERE, according to the chief this will stop the flesh eating terrorists from using them against us... Largely outnumbered and significantly armed with only a pistol, this appears to be the BEST course of action and finally we can install a pool room into the armory."

Claire put the paper away in her magic filing cabinet of non-existence.

Proceeding forward she noticed something crawling across the window. "Spiderman?" she wondered outloud before hurrying into the next room.

XXX Leon XXX

Leon rushed through the hallways singing "Its the BESSST DAAAY EVERRRR!" as he freely fired upon EVERYTHING that moved walking upto a downed zombie "EXECUTION!" he exclaimed emptying his clip into the zombies head. "I am so freaking awesome.." he said reloading.

XXX Claire XXX

Claire walked catiously down the hallway as she peeked around the corner of the hall, she could see a headless corpse laying there in a pool of blood "It looks like the head was twisted off" came the words across the bottom of the screen, looking at them Claires eyes widened as she took off full sprint down the hall being stopped by a tounge lashing out and grabbing her around the throat as she began choking and struggling against it.

Just then Leon tuck and rolled around the corner "DIE MONST-... AWW a puppy!" he said looking at the licker on the ceiling, Claire was being dragged up slowly off her feet and hung there as she kicked and squirmed choking loudly. Leon smiled "He likes you Claire" he said.

Claire shakily grasped at the tongue around her throat as she kicked her legs gasping for help, reaching for her knife she sliced the tongue off and fell to the ground coughing.

Leon blinked as the lickers tongue was cut off "Aw now I gotta put him out of his misery.." he mumbled and simply shot the licker in the exposed brain.

Claire stood up glaring at Leon huffing in anger. "You don't look so good Claire.." he began but smiled innocently "I know what'll turn that frown upside down... Who wants a herb?" he asked holding it out.

Claire grabbed him by his lush golden hair and pulled her fist back "IDIOT!" she growled. Leon's eyes widened "No, hey! calm down! AH! not in the face! AHH! MEDIC!" he screamed as the chapter end came.

CHAPTER 2 END

XXXXX SONG PARODY "Moves Like Jagger" - "Moves like Leon" XXX

(The following is an ORIGINAL creation of Team PARODY)

" When I push staaaart

Resident Evil

I feel like the STA-RS

Raccoon City

Don't worry about me

cuz Im R.P.D.

And It Happens like this! "

Duck and cover I'll save you

Fuck with me and I'll shoot you

All the moves like Leon

I've got the moves like Leon

I've got the mooo-OOO-ooo-OO-ooves like Leon

I don't need a gun TO kill you

Just draw your knife and I'll face you

With them moves like Leon

I've got the moves like Leon

I've got the moves like Leon...

So Grab a gun and We can fight this!

Survive the night and kill the Tyrants!

Don't cower in fear!

When Birkin is near!

He might be a queer!...

But I fight like this!

Duck and cover I'll save you

Fuck with me and I'll shoot you

All them moves like Leon

I've got the moves like Leon

I've got the mooo-OOO-ooo-OO-ooves like Leon...

Thats all i got for now boys and girls :D Review!


	3. Chapter 3 Undead American PIE

Welcome back to another chapter of the undead horrors of stupidity, gut wrenching patience and DOOOOM... or whatever.. :P

Chapter 3:

Soon after the beating Claire and Leon checked their weapons and Claire looked over to Leon "Lets go.." she said calmly Leon paused for a moment "Go where?" he asked Claire thought for a moment "that way?" she said pointing towards the door at the end of the hall, Leon nodded some "I dont know..With everything i've seen so far..I think we should go back to the street and get a car and drive away.." he said before Claire aimed a gun at him "YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO THINK LOGICALLY!" she screamed and he raised his hands "OH GOD! Im sorry!" he said running through the door.

They were now in a hallway that had all the windows boarded up or barricaded, Claire stopped "Wait...Maybe we SHOULD go back and leave.." she said before Leon laughed "No way! its like one of those adventures!" he said pushing her forward as she staggered by one of the boarded up windows, and in an instant hands came through the windows boards grabbing hold of Claire as she screamed "OHMIGOD! LEON! HELLLP!" she screamed before Leon covered his ears "AH! Damnit! Dont scream like that!..It gives me some kind of...horrific..vision.." he groaned and ran over grabbing hold of Claire and pulling her away from the window as he laughed some "revel in the adventure claire...Surprises are sure to be around every corner.." he said nodding and grabbed her hand running down the halway, he quickly kicked open a double door entry and came in aiming his gun before gasping "Claire! look! A school!" he said "totally a surprise cause this is a police station/manion/school/party-fucking-rific house of Emo undead!" he said putting his gun away

Claire rolled her eyes as she walked around to the back room "its not a school Leon..its a meeting room.." she said and looked around, she saw a fire place in the back room with a painting of a man chained up.

The words came across the screen "A sacrafice to the hell fire" and Claire grinned "Bondage? KINKY!" she exclaimed before Leon blinked awkwardly "I think we should split up.." he said running away before she could answer

XXXX Leon XXXX

Leon ran around a corner and up some stairs as he stopped to look at a statue in the middle of the room "...This must be one of those puzzle things..." he said and stared down the puzzle, the puzzle statue stared him down, Leon slowly narrowed his eyes and the statue didn't move at all this went on for some time until finally... "I dare sell ol chap..are we going to stare eachother down all day or shall we solve some problems? After all i think your after my fist sized Jewels..ah ho ho..ha.." it said laughing before Leon gasped "E-GAD! A gay puzzle!" he said and ran through the door leaving the statue confused.

XXXX Claire XXXX

Claire stood in a Dark Room with the type writer as she pulled up a chair and cracked her fingers with a smirk. "Oh boy..This will be my best entry yet.." she said with a wicked smirk as she began typing away with a rapid 'ticka ticka ticka' filling the room.

XXX Leon XXX

Leon slowly came around the corner and looked up at a door engraved "S.T.A.R.S." and he put his hands on his hips "Super Tard-farmer Anual Retarded Sports?" he asked aloud

Author: Tard farmer is 2 words moron!

Leon looked up at the Cieling "Silence magical dis-embodied ghost...I dont need no grammar natzi special ed person narrating my life!" he said before running inside the door

Author:...No comment..

Leon looked around the room, it was a wreck... He casually walked over to the first desk.. It was tottally trashed and much too big!... He walked over to the second Desk which was soooo unorganized and much too small! He walked over to the third desk that had a picture of a sexy brown haired girl in uniform...it was just right!...But her desk was a little lopsided.. About the time he was about to tuck the picture into his jacket Claire came through the door "Leon!" she exclaimed before Leon panicked and ripped up the picture "It was already like this i swear!" he exclaimed before Claire rushed over to the unorganized Desk "this is my brothers desk.." she said and picked up a diary.

XXXX Chris's Diary XXXX

August 8th

I talked to the Chief again today... He tottally agree's that the human resouces person is a lunatic..He threw a paper weight at me!.. On a side note though he refuses to listen to reason that Umbrella is super naughty and orchastrated a crazy monster house full of carnivore monster men to try and kill us!... Jill Believes that we need to stop Umbrella..So thats what we're going to do! But the entire mansion went up in a tottally AWESOME explosion! Along with all the super important evidence we needed but still! it was soooo cooool.. So many people in town dont believe us..they say we're all crazy! But im not crazy! Rebecca is crazy...Oh yeah..as soon as we got back she checked into the Racoon City Asylum...something about stupidity overdose..I didn't really get it...Jill Barry and I are going to go and fight the bio-naughtiness somewhere else in this crazy world...ESPECIALLY after my stupid sisters been looking for me...I ignore all her calls haha..So theres no way she would come looking for me.. Just to show that this entry isn't a waste of time...I put a tottally helpful Madallion under this note book for THAT exact reason...

XXXXX

She looked down and picked up the Unicorn Madallion "its so shiny.." she began before Leon snatched it "And its so MINE" he said putting it in his magical inventory screen, claire huffed and filed Chris's diary in her magical invisable pink filing cabinet of non existance before they both stopped hearing the Phax machine go off. Leon raised his hand "You got mail!" he said laughing before Claire blinked "The city still has internet and working Phax machines? Why hasn't anyone called in the Military?!" she asked before Leon laughed "Cause that would spoil a ton of shitty Live action movies that will probably suck ass or a ton of non-canon spin off games in the series..DUH..." he said picking up the Phax and reading it

XXXX Mail to Chris XXXX

Mr. Chris Refield

Raccoon city Police department

STARS devision.

As per your request we have conducted our internal investigation and discovered the following..

There are 7 local eating establishments that have closed recently due to an umbrella chocolate ice cream scandel going horribly wrong...ALSO we'd like to inform you that Chief Brian Irons has accepted large amounts of money over the past few years..This is probably why the police station is a mansion..However Unrelated to that or your inquery about the G-virus..He's a super rapist with the unieque super power of getting away with it...End of story..

XXXX

Leon laughed and ripped up the paper before putting it in his magical invisable paper shredder. Claire looked at him "What did it say?" she asked before Leon shrugged "No clue..I cant read" she said and walked out Leaving Claire with a Quizical look.

XXXX Claire XXXX

Claire after raiding the closet for a grenade Launcher she kicked open the door "AHA!" she exclaimed and then groaned disapointed at the lack of zombies to shoot at. She made her way down the hallway and kicked open the door, finding herself on a Balcony where Leon was firing at a few zombies with his hand gun "HAHA! Take this! and one of these! and oh god yes! A couple of these!" he called out before Claire jumped forward "DIE YOU UNDEAD BASTARDS!" she screamed and fired the granade launcher blowing a zombie away, blood and limbs flying in all directions before Leon and the remaining Zombies gasped loudly and glared at her.. "CLAIRE!" Leon began crossing his arms "Racism isn't cool..Calling them undead bastards..or Zombies...CLEARLy you need a cultural lesson..they are Undead Americans!" He said before one of the undead americans nodded "Oh yes..We very much prefer the civil rights act should partake in the rightful treatment of.." it began before Leon shot it in the head "NERRRRRD!" he exclaimed and unloaded the rest of his clip onto the other one.

Claire huffed some and walked across looking over the balcony they were on "Look Leon! Its the main room.." she said looking over to the ladder "looks like we can safely get down there from.." she began before flailing her arms "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" she screamed seeing Leon leap off the Balcony resident evil 4 style "Im an ACTION HEROOOO..AHHH MY LEG!" he screamed in pain

Claire slowly brought her hand to her face "idiot.." she mummbled before Leon called out with a whine "I need a HERRRRRB"

Claire looked over the railing "im going to find another way down..." she said pushing the ladder button and rushing off to the other side of the Balcony..

XXXX Claire XXXX

Claire looked around finding herself in a Library "I love books!" she said throwing her hands in the air

Author: SH! Be quiet!

Claire gasped some looking around as she slowly made her way up the staircase "Was that like...A ghost? Or...Is the undead american disease bringing dead tree's back to life?" she asked before moments later the ground bellow her fell apart and she fell into the lower floor behind the book cases crying out "MY LEG!" she whined before slowly getting up and limping her way over to a book shelf, pushing the button the book shelf slid forward revealing a secret path..."A sliding book shelf?! On a completely noticable track?! Who knew?!" she threw her hands up again excitedly jumping up and down before she walked out "...Looks like a puzzle.." she said hesitating and then she pushed the first button farthest on the left moving it to the right..then she pushed the 3rd button.. moving it to the Left..There was a loud buzz and something slid open making her gasp "I WON!" she said throwing her hands up in the air before grabbing the Serpent stone and rushing through the double door way...

She found herself in another hallway with a ton of zombies.

"And then I was all like AW HELL NAW NIGGA! I be all trippin like munch munch fast food bitch dont be runnin from me yo, ima home-boy straight up undead G-my nigga me N my undead posse gonna be all up on your fat meaty bitch ass know what im sayin? Makin a meal out of you AND your fat momma!" said the white zombie cop and did the bro love symbol, the girl zombie looked up "Look! A girl!" said the zombie girl, the second male zombie pointed "Go get her big daddy Z Junior JR!" he said "Yeah big daddy Z Junior JR! Go get her!" The cop zombie laughed as he staggered around "Oh yeah..Ima go eat dat bitch for DAYZZZZ" he laughed staggering towards her. Claire blushed some and fired her grenade launcher blowing them all up at once "Aint nobody eatin me...human or Zombie" she said strikin a pose "Big Red she-dog all up in this shit REPRESENTING know what im sayin?!" she asked loudly before she heard a girl scream and went running.

She swiftly came around the corner seeing a little blonde haired girl "HELP ME!" she called out backing into he corner Claire knew what to do..She brought forth her trusty Grenade Launcher aiming it for the zombie and fired her last shell..it flew in slow motion, true to its cause and to the gameplay dinamics...KABOOOOOM...It exploded 5 feet short of its target... "GODDAMNIT! YOU SONNAVA *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* PIECE OF *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* MOTHER *CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED* I OUTA *CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED* AND *CENSORED* CENSORED* CENSORED* WHILE I *CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED* WITH YOUR *CENSORED* CENSRORED* SIDEEWAYS MOHER FUCKER! I MEAN...*CENSORED*..." she said painting...

The Undead american stared at her as she went on her rant and his draw fell to the floor...litterally...before he himself fell over..bleeding to death out of his ears.

Claire threw her hands up as the Final Fantasy victory theme song played for a split moment as she jumped up and down now excitedly as if the rant had never happened..Slowly she walked over to the door and moved to turn the knob.

This door is Locked.. An engraving of a Spade is etched intot he door.

Claire kicked the door "GODDAMNIT!" she screamed and threw her grenade launcher down.

XXXXXXX

After going back to the main room and exchanging the medallion that she stole from Leon and bringing the spade Key back to the door she slowly unlocked it and entered the room..

Claire looked around before she saw Leon walking forward "Claire! You finally made it! i've been waitng like foreverrrrrrrr" he said whining.. Claire looked at him "but...but...but...How did you?...How did you get in here without this key?" she asked quietly before Leon laughed some "OH..You know...Plot holes.." he said smiling

Claire slowly raised up a mini-gun aiming at Leon "..."

Leon blinked "Woah..Where did you get the sweet mini gun?" he asked

Claire didn't take her aim or gaze from him "Oh...you know...Arranged Game.." she said casually as Leon's smile faded "uhhhhhhh...I think im gonna go now.." he said running from the room as a hail storm of bullets showered around him "CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!" he screamed vanishing around the corner

.

Chapter 3 END


End file.
